Haven’t dated recently, and have no intention of dating. There is a crush, a handsome guy I met in a new place, he is very gentlemanly and gentle, and he is my favorite from top to bottom. But we don’t have any ambiguity, the other party doesn’t know anything about it, and I won’t take any action or development for the time being, I will come back to gossip when there is news in a few months.
I’m free today, so I’ll continue to update the 12th.

Irish, 38 years old, no Irish spoken, height 197, psychological counselor, temperament and appearance are not passers-by, mainly because his height has a sense of presence in the crowd, but this person has always had objections to him being too tall Because he doesn’t want to be the center of attention.

This person is the most chatty person I’ve ever dated on Tinder, whether it’s in person or text message. I just looked up the whats app chat history with him. I scrolled for more than 3 minutes before I found the start page. This is only a record of nearly two months. How much time did we waste chatting? But I have to say that it is comfortable to talk to him. The text messages must be answered and the tone and word count are not perfunctory. Not only is he talkative, but he can always start another topic harmoniously when the topic is about to end.

Ok, let’s get to the point. When we met for the first time, we made an appointment to eat brunch at the Spanish restaurant I like (the shadow of Dr. No. 11 is still there). I was late, and I saw him standing at the door of the restaurant waiting for me from a distance. When I got closer, I saw that he was well-dressed, clean, and tidy. Although his height made people feel oppressed, it also made people feel more secure. As soon as I saw him, I said: How is the air up there? He smiled and said it was ok. I used to have a lot of trouble talking to the height of 10 and 187, and it was conceivable to speak to the 12, but fortunately, we sat and talked the whole time afterward, and my neck was saved.

Tell me about the meeting. This person is in the same state as he chatted with. He is talkative, has a wide range of interests, and is good at arranging his own life. The only point is that he always says that he is lazy, always likes the new and dislikes the old things he likes, and has poor self-discipline. This shortcoming is similar to mine. I also like to try a lot of new things, but I lose enthusiasm after a while. So the two of us analyzed this shortcoming for a long time and regretted those things that we didn’t stick to before. During this meal, we learned about each other’s work and life, growth experience, hobbies, and love experience, and everything was very harmonious and sincere during the conversation. I didn’t feel any discomfort. Judging from his feedback, he should also have the same feeling. After the meal, we hugged and said goodbye in a friendly way. The glass in the restaurant next to us reflected our appearance. I saw the height difference between us and said to him: Do you think we look like father and daughter in the glass? He couldn’t laugh.

Looking at it this way, number 12 is not bad, right?
Well, he’s nice, but I don’t call him at all. This is terrible. My rationality told me that the other party is very good, and I can continue to contact them to see if there are more sparks, but my emotions were still reminding me of the existence of that monster on the 10th.
Why do you chat so much with people without calling? I just want to have fun chatting. Ha ha. I’ve always thought that when grown-up men and women talk about so many topics that are not at all ambiguous, there is a high probability that it is the fate of friends. If I was sexually interested in him, my style is that I wouldn’t talk so much at all, I’ll push it down first.
After the meeting, I put him in the friend zone completely, and then I planned to introduce No. 12 to my friend. Is my brain circuit clear?

It is a fact that most Australian men like to drink, as I mentioned above, I was also brainwashed in this way. And to prove my point of view, I also deliberately observed and compared the friends around him. Some of them looked very fancy in person and at work, and they also drank alcohol and had drugs. In this way, my ex is really good. I used to comfort myself like this.
Girls, if you like someone, it is easy to ignore the other person’s shortcomings, and you will find evidence for the other person’s shortcomings to convince yourself to accept them.
Just like you said that questioning this kind of life is not positive enough, I am also anxious, even manic.
Once the relationship fell into this state, I realized that the other party’s shortcomings were completely inconsistent with my values, and the fact that I was looking for cases from garbage people to compare with my ex was inherently problematic.
I am glad that I reluctantly walked out, otherwise, imagine that we have a child, and I see my partner drinking every day, I guess I would have to go berserk every day.
Anyway, when I meet people who don’t meet my bottom line principles in the future, I won’t waste time starting.
Sister, you also deserve better people to lead you to normal and active life 🙂

Short update number 12

It mentioned above that I think No. 12 is good and I can introduce him to my friend. I happily reached an agreement with my friend A. She is also very interested in meeting her. I stated in advance that I am just looking for an opportunity for both parties to get to know each other. , to see if there is a call, I don’t care about the follow-up. But I didn’t tell the 12th my intentions beforehand. Unexpectedly, this incident later turned into a tearful story.

One day, I made an appointment to have morning tea on the 12th. I told my friend A in advance that I would go with him on the 12th. As a result, when it was time for dinner, my friend A had an urgent matter and couldn’t come. My friend B happened to be with me, so I asked B if he wanted to have dinner with me. I also said in advance that I was going to introduce myself to A on the 12th. During the meal, I felt that this B was interesting to the 12th, but the 12th was not very obvious. I asked B what he meant, and she said it was boring because she thought this person was not bad. I didn’t think much of it at the time, thinking that we were all friends, and B knew that this was not introduced to her, so she probably wouldn’t come to poach someone. Well, here’s the foreshadowing.
After dinner, I made an appointment with the 12th to go to a quiet local coffee shop to study for about 3 hours. He was studying for another degree remotely, and I was busy writing an internship report. We also chatted between studies, and the more we chatted, the more we felt that he was a good match for A, especially in terms of wine appreciation. I was a matchmaker at the time, and I wanted to match anyone I caught.

Next, I set up another game and asked No. 12 and A to meet at the bar. There are almost 10 people with me in this game, and B also came that day. Let me be brief about the process. I watched B flirt with No. 12 actively during the whole process, and then No. 12 was a little embarrassed. The most speechless thing is that B just drank a few glasses of wine as if he was drunk, and he also offered to compare his wrist with No. 12, and then it was the first time I saw a girl who could wrestle her wrist with each other to go. Suddenly on the 12th came a sentence of fuck off that seemed to be a joke but was not a joke, and said it to B with a smile on his face. I was a little embarrassed and angry at B’s behavior, but there was nothing I could do. A told me that if she likes No. 12, let them develop freely. The next day, the three of us girls had an awkward fight over this matter.

The follow-up was that the introduction was unsuccessful, and B also failed to flirt. I’ve given up on getting involved in this matter. And my other friends also criticized my stupid behavior, thinking that I am bossy in this matter, and I don’t care if the 12th person is willing or not. The relationship between me and the 12th did not fade because of this incident, but I don’t know exactly how it faded. We are now the most ordinary kind of friends, just asking about the current situation.

Seeing this, I don’t know what people think of me. First of all, I will not introduce any ambiguous Tinder objects to my friends. It is precisely because I have the attitude of being normal friends from the beginning to the end on the 12th. There is no relationship between us. Any ambiguous factors I have this idea. But I didn’t handle it very well. It’s been so long, and I occasionally still think, how could the number 12 be pushed out at that time? Now I don’t regret it, but I have doubts. If we could get along a few more times at that time, would there be another possibility between us??

I saw that some sisters in the group often asked what should I do if I met twice but didn’t feel the other party. Do you want to keep in touch?
As far as my personal experience is concerned, as long as the other party is pleasing to the eye and makes you feel safe, has common topics, and has good character and behavior, you can continue to contact. But as for whether you will feel it after contact, it depends on who you meet and your personality, plus the arrangement of fate, it is difficult for others to judge.

Next, click on the most recent appointment records. While still in progress.

Before updating the dating record, I want to insert a story about the little brother in the United States.
Isn’t the ban lifted recently, so I started to return to Tinder to find someone to go out to eat, drink and have fun?

After brushing for a while, I gradually became discouraged. Didn’t it mean that there are many handsome surfers in the local area? Maybe they don’t go on Tinder. What I can see are some rough country guys in hurdling vests and big pants who don’t surf and only show pictures of catching fish. The number of my right swipes is pitifully small, and it is conceivable that there are no matches. Until I turned on the global switch and saw an American brother who looked like my beloved Dou Sen with 6-pack abs and looked very healthy but was 15,000+km away from me, I swiped right without hesitation, and then God The fucking match was successful.

This guy works for a PE company. He said that he just returned to work in New York from Sydney recently and is still in quarantine. Looking at his life trajectory, he did not isolate himself at home. He not only went to work in the company but also went to the gym and participated in the parade. Since the day I matched with me, this buddy took the initiative to send me messages every day after more than 10 hours of jet lag, asking me about my health, and looking for something to talk about when I had nothing to do. I have always been very vigilant, and I feel that I have probably encountered the so-called “killing pigs” on the Internet. The analysis is as follows:

  1. I’m not underestimating myself, but I’m just an ordinary person. His Tinder profile is a bit out of my league. We should not be the same.
  2. I haven’t had much contact with people in the financial circle. Shouldn’t the people in this kind of investment company be very busy? I can’t figure out why some people send messages every day to a person who has never met and is estimated to be difficult to meet after thousands of miles and jet lag. What is the picture?
    Then I quietly waited for his performance and waited for him to talk to me about money one day. Don’t tell me, he is professional. He sends messages every day when he wakes up and I am about to go to bed, and the topics are not the same every day. There is nothing wrong with English grammar, plus a lot of exaggerated modal particles, it feels like an old beauty.

Although I was waiting for him to be exposed, I didn’t have the patience to chat with him. Last night, I was ready to tear it apart. The reason was that the other party was still chatting with me after 2:00 in the middle of the night, and then got up at 6:00 in the morning and sent me a message. I think how can my charm, He De, make a handsome guy so concerned? Liars are possible. Then I told the other party that you are not in the US, and your chat records exposed the fact that you only slept for more than three hours, so quickly turn on the video and let me see your handsome face just woke up. The American brother said sorry, I am in the gym now. When I was MMP in my heart, the other party took the initiative to send two photos to prove that he had just arrived at the gym and hadn’t started changing clothes. I gasped when I saw those two photos, not only like Dou Sen but also like the blonde version of Jon Snow, that embarrassing expression that didn’t wake up was the same. Well, scammers really know what they like, I just know that I like these two people and especially choose this kind of photo to send to me. I was speechless, so I told him to exercise slowly because I couldn’t find the words to expose him.

I woke up at past 7 this morning and this liar texted me good morning like he was on an alarm clock. I asked him directly what Jon Snow was doing, and he said he didn’t get why I called him that way. He said that he had been called Dou Sen or Juan Fu before, but this was the first time he was called this. I saw that this was a waste of time, so I asked him directly: are you being catfished online? He replied: I would have a lot of time in my hand to do this LOL. I know he is ironic, I Then tell him not to pretend. He said that he was also confused at the beginning why he could still match at such a distance, and he was still there firmly assuring that he was not a catfish. After watching it, I turned over and went back to sleep. As for whether he is a liar or not, I don’t think it is very important. Even if he takes the initiative to make a video to confirm that he is not, it doesn’t make any sense, because I don’t want to be involved in this kind of long-distance friendship at all.

So some sisters asked me the above, how to keep in touch with the little brother I like but can’t meet? My answer to this is don’t invest too much in the first place, just be casual. As someone who has experienced a long-distance relationship and a long-distance relationship (the other party is Chinese), I have met many times, and I can’t express the bitterness in it, not to mention the relationship between people who have not met before. Isn’t the local little brother fragrant? Why do you want to look far away?

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