In the end, one or two No. 10s were updated, and I felt that I was dying.
We didn’t meet last time, and there was no contact after that, and I was on the verge of giving up, sisters, don’t scold me for thinking about No. 10 at this time. Fans of the authorities! Deep obsession!
I practice hard-tipped pen calligraphy over and over again: don’t be confused by your mind, don’t be trapped by your emotions, don’t be afraid of the future, and don’t think about the past, to warn myself to let go of unnecessary obsessions.
At the beginning of February, I had already decided to move to another state alone in March, and the air ticket had already been bought in advance.
At this time, while I was busy moving and saying goodbye to my friends, I was still thinking about the 10th. I wrote the item of saying goodbye to him personally on my “to-do list” before leaving, but I was still hesitant to action.
On Valentine’s Day, I went out with one of my European girlfriends, and when I mentioned the number 10, she always knew that I couldn’t ask for it. My girlfriend advised me: why are you so hesitant? You have nothing to lose, you are leaving, why regret it? You see, Kobe was not always good, but unfortunately crashed (salute) you never know what will happen in the next second! To seize the opportunity!
After she pushed, I thought it made sense, so I sent a message to No. 10 to wish him a happy Valentine’s Day.
Back No. 10: Happy Valentine’s Day xx (my name) from me and Grom. (with a cute and ugly selfie plus his figure)
(Huh? Did this guy wear a big vest on Valentine’s Day and not go out on a date at home? Hee hee hee, I’m secretly happy)
So I also sent a photo of me and my best friend to imply that I was with a girl.
We chatted for a few words and I learned that he was going to sleep at home. After an hour, I asked him if he wanted to meet (at this time, it was past noon in the middle of the night, but I didn’t think about it so much, it doesn’t matter if I fight it)
He didn’t respond to my text messages, and I assumed he didn’t want to meet. The next day he told me that he was asleep and that of course he could meet me, and let me go to his house to play, and I was very happy to say yes.
On the day we met, it was a little different from what I imagined. (Sisters, my next conversation is a bit boring but I want to focus on writing, because I think my problem has always existed and may have created a bad impression, and it is also for your reference not to make the same mistake as me)
We made an appointment to be at his house at 7 pm on weekends.
My little calculation in my heart said: We can sit and talk for a while and then go have a meal and take a walk. But the point is that I didn’t tell him my wishes and arrangements in advance.
At 4:30, I asked him how he was (for fear of being released again), and I said I was free now. He directly asked me to go to his house, and also sent me a picture of the game, saying that he is currently downloading a copy at home and that it can be finished before 7 o’clock. He said that he has prepared a computer for me and can play games directly there.
(Because I had my little plans at the time, I was looking forward to our final date, but seeing his casual attitude of not making any arrangements in advance, making me just play games in the past, I was a little angry—see now Come on, I was a little angry for no reason. I made an appointment at 7 o’clock, what’s wrong with people playing a game first? I didn’t say clearly what my ideal date is, how can I let the other party guess? But this is just the first step I started )
So I suppressed my anger and sent him a message: You don’t wanna go out??
Number 10: Maybe later but geeking for now
(It’s TMD maybe again! I just don’t have a plan, I’m just getting angry)
Me: I’m going to the XX first. It’s fine if you wanna stay at home:) Text me when you finish ok?
(This place is the seaside park where we had our first date, 15 minutes walk from his house, I thought at the time, then you can play if you want, anyway, I will tell you that I am going to go directly XX place now, not to you It’s home, you can decide whether you want to come or not! At the same time, considering that it’s unfair for game friends that he left before finishing the copy, I also said that you should send me a message after you’re busy.—, I’ll go directly to his house at this time, and then directly tell him my little calculation, we should have my ideal date, but I didn’t, I will continue to do)
10th: sure. still got another 30 mins probably, it’s our first week in the new raid. Come over if you like
(He invited me to go there first again. I wanted to play against the tune at that time, and I was determined not to go-I am a woman who is inexplicable)
Me: That’s ok. do you wanna go out to meet me later? (I confirm again)
Number 10: Great 🙂 will be free after 7. Is that ok? I wanna see you, probably we can walk in xx for a while or play games. You sent me that yesterday, so I assumed you didn’t mind coming over but are really against it now. Not sure why but? ??
(At the time on the 10th, I guess I was right with a question mark on my face. At this time, you can see my problem. From the point of view of the 10th, I made a promise to go to his house at 7 o’clock tonight, but I suddenly changed my mind and couldn’t say it. Said to wait for him in another place, of course, he will not know my small plan, in his view, my actions have deepened the impression that I am emotional and fickle. To a foreigner, this is a big deal. Bogey, most foreigners like positive vibe people, especially No. 10 mentioned to me that he likes harmony and a life without drama, and I change it to make him feel that I am high maintenance.)
I explained that I just wanted to know whether he wanted to stay at home or go out, and I could go there if he wanted to stay at home. At the same time, I also stated again that I will not disturb you to play games if you send me a message when you are done with work. Plus also said I don’t wanna any dramas. (Hehe, I think you are a drama queen)
Why can’t I finish writing on the 10th?
At this time, I had been sulking for half an hour in the seaside park, and he sent another message: Well come over now, nearly finished.
(Then I misunderstood this sentence, I thought he was coming to me, but he told me to go to him, which made me wait another 20 minutes in vain)
Number 10: I don’t know why you didn’t come over hours ago when I said, I will walk down towards you now.
I really couldn’t stand the text messages, so I called him, the tone was apologetic, I kept saying sorry to me, and I didn’t know that I misunderstood, so he came to pick me up now. The tone was still so gentle and calm, and there was no impatience.
As soon as I saw him, I completely forgot the reason for my sulking. (From this point of view, I am really an emotional person, but I come and go quickly, and I don’t turn over old scores)
He lay flat on the sofa, and I folded on top of him, chatting while listening to his heartbeat, and occasionally deep French kisses. When they stop, they can stare at each other for a long time without any escape in the eyes, even if they don’t say anything, it’s very sweet.
After a sweet moment, I show number 10 my new animal tattoo.
He asked me directly: does it mean XX city? (
(This city is where I lived for more than three years)
I exclaimed: you got me! why do you always know my mind?
(He was the first person who directly guessed the meaning of my tattoo)
Bad smile No. 10: because I know you very well. why you got this?
Me: because I’m leaving next month, this tattoo is to memorize this city.
The 10th was a bit of a surprise, and I explained to him why I left. But I don’t want to make the atmosphere very emotional, the tone is relaxed and happy, but seriously, I saw his eyes were a little red and his eyes were shining like tears. (I don’t know if it’s true feelings or acting skills?)
I was afraid that I was going to cry, so I quickly hugged him, and said his name coquettishly, why do I like you so much? (It may be difficult for some sisters to imagine how an old aunt acts like a baby. Let me tell you this, my way of acting like a baby is to change my voice and pretend that the voice of a small animal is a bit sweet. Imagine me telling him that I like him with the voice of a small animal. What kind of scene will it be? Haha, don’t feel disgusted, this trick needs to be used differently, and some foreigners will think that I’m pretty cute after eating this trick)
He hugged me back and said he liked me too.
I continued to pretend to be cute with the voice of a small animal and said: no, you don’t, I know haha.
Number 10: I do! You are the most beautiful and sexy girl I have dated before, look at your pretty face and your everything, you can find any guy if you want. We were just on different pages, that’s my bad.
(I don’t want to belittle myself, but I also understand that he said that he likes me is just a polite word, and that he praised me later is only out of politeness in his upbringing. But I don’t regret that I confessed my sincere confession before I left, and I also thank him then cooperate)
I still didn’t give up and asked him: How is the date going?
He said lightly: I haven’t been in touch with that girl from Singapore for a while. She has something to do at home and I’m busy, so our progress is very, very slow.
I joked: Hahaha. You keep doing it and every girl you date can’t wait to run away.
Number 10: What’s going to happen always happens, I don’t mind. You know I have been out of a relationship for more than a year after going through 5 years, and I am still in pain because of my mother’s death. I am quite satisfied with my current life, so I want to take things slowly, not Anxious to get into a committed relationship.
(Let’s not speculate whether No. 10 is lying or not. It can be seen here that No. 10’s attitude towards dating itself has not changed from the beginning to the end. For me or the known Singaporean girl: slow pace, don’t rush to promise, I don’t force it. I am opposite to his needs and attitudes from the beginning to the end! My behavior makes him feel pressured, so he will want to escape. As for whether I like it or not, I also agree with some girls in the building. Yes, liking and liking you enough to make you his girlfriend are two completely different concepts)
I finally mentioned that I have a regret, we haven’t even had a group photo for so long, why don’t we go to the seaside park to take a group photo next week, and he happily agreed. (Obviously, it can be completely over by this time, but I was still a little greedy and wanted to create another opportunity)
After completing this to-do list, my heart became calmer. I am very grateful that No. 10 fulfilled my wish before I left, and the words he said at the end were also heart-warming, and I can feel his kindness. He is still the “warm man” I recognized when I first met him.
After that, we didn’t have any drama, and he would take the initiative to send me messages to ask for a simple chat and so on. I didn’t worry about gains and losses, and I cared about those boring things like the frequency of replies.
Play a little episode:
The background of the premise is that this time I met and became an ins friend on the 10th, although I often peep at what he said.
One morning I woke up at 6:00 and found that the 10th had liked an old photo on my ins. The time of the like was estimated to be around 1:00 in the morning. The photo was a silhouette I took after watching the sunset with my friends. It just so happened I also took the photo the day after he sent me a blessing message on Christmas last December. At that time, I saw the magnificent scenery and thought of him again. Then I wrote the text with the picture: I can’t forget you. We were not ins friends at the time so he couldn’t see it. Auntie wrote down the sad spring and sad autumn for herself to pay tribute to haha. It’s just that I never thought that the person I used to spy on would come to my ins to spy on me in the middle of the night, and accidentally slip his hand and like an old photo. Ha ha.
No. 10
It was the day we agreed to take pictures. I met him at his house in advance, kissed me (by the way, I didn’t have sex with him the last time), and then we walked to the lakeside park, I was looking forward to him holding my hand like a couple The same appeared in the public. But not only did he not hold my hand, but he also felt a little reserved and distant. I felt a little lost but didn’t dare to take the initiative.
When I saw a couple in front of me kissing me, I was very envious, and then I unconsciously recalled my situation, and my face changed. (Tsk tsk, the emotional old aunt is haunted again!)
No. 10 immediately noticed that my face had changed, and asked me what I was thinking. I said no, and he said that I could see that my face was unhappy. Oh, what should I say, you didn’t hold my hand?
I said no, and quickly changed the subject. Then I didn’t mention the photo-taking thing anymore. After a while, I lost interest and told No. 10 that I was going home. He said yes and asked me how to get there. I said it’s still early, I’ll take the car. Then he accompanied me to the station. During the half-hour waiting for the bus, we found a corner of the park and sat down to chat and enjoy the scenery.
At that time, he and I were a little bit speechless, and we couldn’t talk to each other because we didn’t have enough words to talk to each other. I think, maybe this is because the passion is exhausted, and the reality that remains is so pale and powerless.
(Now it seems that the last meeting is a bit superfluous. Fitness coach No. 5 has been saying that I don’t need to meet again because it’s meaningless. I don’t think it’s meaningless now. The last meeting is also one that I completely withdraw from Let’s go through the process, I understand the suggestions and principles of the people around me, but if you don’t experience it, you won’t be able to comprehend it. For me, things like feelings still need to grow through the process of trial and error)