In a technical sense, I have never had an “‘American boyfriend’, but I have been in the dating stage with a 23-year-old boy and have received several dating invitations/confessions. So let me briefly talk about a few things that need to be paid attention to when dating men and women…

1) Americans fall in love in stages, roughly like hanging out — dating — in a relationship.

The first step, hanging out, is the friendship stage. Generally, friends hang out when they gather on weekends, go out to play, etc.

Then dating is the “dating” that the subject asked, but this is only equivalent to the “ambiguous stage” in East Asian countries, and the relationship between male and female friends has not been established; I went out with a group of people), but usually in the dating stage, as long as the boys don’t make it clear, eating/watching movies is a two-person AA system, and the dating stage hardly says “I love you” (but will use other words to say “I love you”).

Finally, the stage of a relationship is very formal. Before this step, American men will never call you their girlfriend to others. Only when he formally invites you to be in a relationship with him (whether it is verbally or by modifying the relationship status on Facebook), can you be a serious “boyfriend and girlfriend”. Once the relationship is established, he will say “I love you” to you.

2) Americans are very clear about which stage and how much he pays at which stage. American thinking is very straightforward. He will say what he thinks, and he will never play ambiguous games with you. When you are just friends with him, if he has a good impression of you and wants to develop further, he will invite you to date him. When you feel good with him in the dating stage, he may invite you to be his girlfriend.

3) Regarding the sex part, except for those Americans who come from families and regions that strictly follow a religion, most Americans are very casual, almost completely following the mood of the two and the atmosphere at the time.

Thanks to the relatively good level of sex education in the United States,

a) The vast majority of men (even when they are drunk) will seek the consent of the other half after making a sexual request (sex request). This is called sex with consent, which is very important. Because in the United States, sex without consent is equal to sexual assault (sexual assault), which is rape. Once you have not obtained the consent of the other half before the sexual act, even if the other half did not say anything during the sexual act, once you have to report yourself to the police or even sue you, your life will be over.

b) As long as they are not married, the vast majority of men will use condoms during sex (the kind of news reported in the teens who got their girlfriends pregnant is an extreme case that cannot be more extreme). In terms of safe sex, Americans have received enough education. As a girl, you don’t have to worry about the irresponsibility of the other half, because there is another point that abortion is illegal in most states of the United States. of.

4) Thousands! Ten thousand! No! want! Threatening American boys with the oriental cultural logic of “I’ve already slept with you!” !! Two words: useless! For Americans, sex is as common as eating and sleeping. OOXX is just another activity for two people to enhance their relationship besides eating and watching movies. In other words, the Chinese may feel that “going to bed is already something that can only happen when two parents sit down to discuss marriage”, but for Americans, as long as they have not been in a relationship, as long as there is no proposal/engagement, nothing is talking about marriage.

If you go to bed with him before he reaches the stage of dating, it’s okay if he starts to date you after he has a crush on you, but if he just drank too much that day or just has a sexual need, then you can only do him visually friends with benefits—that is, friends with benefits. Or it may be even worse if you are not even considered a good friend in his heart, then you are a booty call directly-a purer girlfriend with benefits, who only seeks you to meet physical needs.

A side note: In recent years, the reputation of Asian girls in the world has become bad. The other name for Asian girls is “easy girls”, which is a satire that many Asian girls take the initiative to go to others when they see white men in recent years. The phenomenon of sticking to the body or even going to bed (boys don’t have to chase after them), has caused all kinds of uproar in the Western world.

Of course, if your original goal is to let him be your friend with benefits or booty call, then ignore all the above~ =O=

5) Here I want to emphasize one issue: as an Asian girl, when interacting with European and American boys, you must adhere to your principles, and you must have self-respect, self-esteem, and self-confidence.

You can’t be as indifferent to sex and virginity as American girls, so you can say it clearly, as long as he really loves you and not treats you as a friend with a gun or just playing with you, he will respect your sexuality aspects of personal norms.

If you want you to be equal in love, then clarify your attitude: I have my Asian circle of friends, I have my own original East Asian eating and living habits and principles of life, I can combine with your habits, but I I will not completely abandon my original Asian circle of friends and Asian living habits for you. As long as he treats and respects you as his girlfriend instead of treating you as an Asian easy girl, he will respect your private life and habits.

The combination of white men and Asian women is the highest proportion of interracial marriages, because Asian women tend to be petite (unlike European and American women who are stout), good at cooking, able to cook a lot of dishes, and able to study and work at the same time Because of their superiority and other reasons, Asian girls are very popular no matter where they go in the world. There is a saying: Asian girls stand at the top of the food chain of human marriage and love.

But over the years, the combination of white men and Asian women that we can see is often that Asian women have completely erased their original mother country’s culture and living habits, and are completely Westernized. To describe it in one word, it is whitewashed. Although the phenomenon of being whitewashed means that all minorities are completely assimilated by Western mainstream white culture because they are inferior to their own original culture, women are originally relatively disadvantaged groups, and they come from relatively disadvantaged third groups. In the countries of the world, the two are weak and superimposed, and this phenomenon is more prominent and acute in the intermarriage between white men and Asian women.

However, today, we are no longer illegal immigrants who are smuggled in from backward and sinister third-world countries. We don’t need to be obsequious and whitewashed in the face of “white privilege”. The guy I dated did a great job at this. At that time, when our group of friends went out to hang out, I was usually the only Asian girl, and Americans were always keen to discuss sports, all kinds of baseball, American football, the Super Bowl, and so on. I usually just listened to them and laughed along with them ( Because I don’t care about sports and have no interest =O=). He noticed it at that time, and once he told me, “In the future, you should bring your Asian friends out to play more, maybe this way you will have a more sense of belonging and intimacy~”, I listened a lot at that time Touched, it’s rare that he can think for me from my point of view before I bring it up.

Although I only talked about 5 items above, I believe that for the vast majority of Zhihu users (even those who have lived in the United States), there should be a lot of information. . .

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