If a man takes some time out to let you know that he’s going through a tough time right now, then he’s really busy and hasn’t lost interest.
In fact, a man may not always be aware that his new behavior could negatively affect you, especially if you’re not officially dating.
When he leaves you on the curb without making any effort to explain or irritate you, he’s lost interest.
However, to define if he’s really busy that he can’t keep in simple contact with you or if he’s lost interest, here are 9 situations/signs:
1. you are the only one who initiates texts and calls.
If his behavior has suddenly changed and he’s now not texting you good morning or good night, then he may be starting to lose interest.
Especially, if you and he are both managing a healthy relationship and the communication between you and him is balanced.
But now you can tell that he’s not texting or calling you with the same enthusiasm he used to.
Even his replies may keep getting shorter and shorter, and he’s not interested in knowing how your day is going or how you’re feeling.
If he likes you and is still interested in you, even if he’s busy, he’ll send you a simple voice message or a little video or emoji to make your day interesting.
2. he seems more distracted than usual
Everyone can be distracted in life because life can get very hectic.
However, if he’s constantly distracted when you’re talking to him or hanging out and he’s on his phone the whole time, then he’s losing interest.
Relationships change over time and it’s normal to have different dynamics.
Therefore, if he always tries to change the subject and not talk about the relationship or his feelings, he may slowly pull away.
3. he gives you simple excuses for canceling plans or no excuses at all
He did lose interest, and if he doesn’t bother to make excuses for himself, then he’s not busy.
I’m not implying that he needs to let you know every little detail, especially if you’re not the only ones dating.
However, if he disappears for days and comes back as if nothing happened, then he’s probably playing.
One day he’ll make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world and even say I love you.
And another day he might ignore you or not even do the bare minimum things like talk to you or even reply.
4. he starts putting you down all of a sudden
If you have a great relationship and you’ve been dating for a couple months, but he starts being arrogant or showing his true colors, he might do this to push you away.
Maybe he had other dates while he was dating you and now he’s met someone else.
He doesn’t want to confront you or even acknowledge his feelings and wants to be safe, which is why he tries to make you feel bad about yourself.
Therefore, he thinks that this way you will notice that he doesn’t want you and you will let go.
In this case, you shouldn’t let anyone cross your boundaries and disrespect you.
5. he starts to love you less every day
When he shows less affection, is he losing interest or just busy?
Well, it could be both. When he’s too tired and busy, he may get anxious and want to spend some time alone.
However, if he’s not losing interest but is just busy, he may be making excuses for his cold attitude.
People who want you are afraid of losing you. That’s why even if he’s the busiest person, he may show signs of love.
Like a small or simple kiss, holding hands, or just hugging.
6. He makes you feel unwelcome
When he makes you feel unwelcome, has he lost interest or is he just busy?
Well, it’s safe to assume that if he doesn’t want you around him anymore, he’ll try to push you away.
I had the same situation when he tried to emotionally distance himself from me and I blamed myself for it.
He started ignoring me or more specifically, ignoring me.
He just stopped doing the bare minimum and tried to convince me that I was asking for too much.
Nothing is too much in a healthy relationship. I just ask him to hang out with mutual friends, but he doesn’t want me to hang out with them.
He indirectly tells me that we seem out of place, but he’d probably still hang out with them on his own.
He’s doing a lot of other things to make this seem like unrequited love.
7. he’s doing other things than spending time with you
When he slowly loses interest, he just doesn’t want to invest in you anymore.
He’ll slowly walk away, spend more time with friends, or do other things that aren’t his priority.
He’ll abruptly cancel plans and won’t bother to make it up to you.
You can only attract the love and respect you want if you claim the kind of respect you deserve.
So even if you’re not on an exclusive date, he’ll spend more time on other things than on you and think about the fact of moving on.
8. he’s not making an effort to improve the relationship
If you have been in a long term relationship and he was ready to commit but now it has suddenly changed, he may have lost interest.
You may have hurt him unintentionally or intentionally and now he is slowly distancing himself to protect himself.
In this case, you may feel that something is not right because it feels like you are trapped in a bubble.
Even if you are trying to move forward, he may be a few steps behind.
9. he doesn’t have time to enjoy life or hang out with others
When he’s really busy and hasn’t lost interest, you may notice him struggling to find even 10 seconds to interact with you.
He even apologizes for this lack of consistency and tries to make it up to you.
But when he loses interest, he’ll act like he’s busy but still hangs out a lot with his friends and does a lot of activities with other people.
Even if you want some explanation, he will act rude and accuse you of overreacting.
A man or a woman who wants a relationship will pursue it no matter what.
Even if he is confused and his feelings are changing, he may still choose to prioritize you in some way.
Are you impatient and overthinking things?
Sometimes, try pointing to yourself before determining if he’s really busy or losing interest.
Maybe you’re just overwhelmed or going through a rough patch, and it may seem like you’re not getting the attention and love you need.
So when he’s busy, he’ll let you know and you won’t feel left out.
~ When you think about it too much, you may notice that even small gestures from him can make you question his intentions and feelings for you.
~On the other hand, when he loses interest and you don’t think too much about it, he’ll constantly make you feel like you’re asking too much.
Or he may make you feel like you’re always doing the wrong thing and not even try to help you with the problem.
To define it, it’s best to talk to an emotional counselor who will help you determine your attachment type.
Then you’ll know if you have an anxious attachment or if he’s really losing interest.
What to do if you notice that he is losing interest and not just really busy?
If he is not really busy, but losing interest, you should accept the situation and shift your attention from him to you.
It’s true that it’s hard to think of yourself in that moment, but that’s the most important thing you should do.
Once you put yourself first, you will react differently. You either try to fix yourself or let it go.
1. don’t expect too much, be realistic.
When you invest a lot in a man, you expect him to do the same.
And when he stops being as involved as he used to be, or his behavior changes, you start to panic and even romanticize it.
You may start to think he’s doing it for this or that reason.
That’s why you shouldn’t have unrealistic expectations, but try to take a step back or a break so you can think clearly.
2. don’t limit yourself.
If you’re just talking or casually dating, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t leave yourself open.
Especially if you’re not dating exclusively, then you don’t need to just focus on him without exploring.
I know it’s not easy if you’re not into that or if you have strong feelings for him.
But it’s better to know that if he doesn’t want to have you all to himself, invest in you, or build a relationship with you, you have other options.
3. talk about exclusivity.
This is another thing you should do. Even if you’re still in the early stages of dating, talk and communicate as much as possible.
There’s nothing wrong if you tell him your bottom line and tell him what your expectations are.
In particular, if you met through a dating app, it’s a good idea to state what you’re up to at the beginning.
Because a lot of men may use dating apps just for the experience or a one-night stand.
4. don’t compete for his attention. Know when it’s time to move on.
If you try to compete for his attention when he’s busy or losing interest, it could push him away.
Therefore, it’s best to give him and yourself some space. If you can’t be there for him all the time, he will begin to know your worth.
Then you will see how he will interact with you. If he loses interest in you, he may not want to interact with you at all or suddenly come and go.
If you don’t feel appreciated or respected by him, then it’s best to set boundaries and move on.
Finally: how do you determine if he’s really busy or has lost interest?
You can determine if he’s really busy or losing interest when he creates distance and doesn’t want to talk about his behavior.
In short, he’s starting to push you away, but still has you as plan b.
Because if he’s busy and can’t communicate, he’ll take even the smallest action to let you know or spend some time with you.
This can be quite a confusing and unpleasant time, but try to get away from yourself and focus on what empowers you right now.